An Open Letter to Mom and Dad

My Friend Kris' Dad passed away today. And as I was reading the beautifully written eulogy. I was overcome with great emotion. I knew Uncle Grant enough to know that he was an incredible person. His positivity and unparalleled zest for life was contagious. And he loved his family, and treasured every single moment he got to spend with them. This I learned from my many slumber parties at Kris' house when we were young, as well as into college when her family would visit nyc. Ever since I learned of his diagnosis, something inside me started to shift my perception of life.  It started with a rekindling of my friendship with Kris, yet every time the subject of her family came up, I would start to sob uncontrollably.

Then it dawned on me, that what I was feeling goes beyond my sympathy for Kris and her family, but rather a deeper look at my own family. 

Mom and Dad (and Lizzie, Louis, and Grandpa/ma on both sides), we've overcome many deep rooted differences in these last few years. But it's time for us to pry ourselves away from the negative and really let go of the past. We have the perfect opportunity in the next few weeks to be together, and I would like for us to really be a family again. Not just a family for show, but a truly talking, sharing, laughing together family. And I want us to give ourselves the permission to let our guard down and be open and honest with one another. After all, who better to see you at your most vulnerable, than the people who love you the most right? 

I look at Kris's family, and what saddens me the most is that their family time was cut short not by choice, but by circumstance. And I look at our family, and more often that not, our activities as a WHOLE family (and not just me, mom, and Lizzie) are done more often out of obligation than desire. And I'll admit, most of the time, we just don't try hard enough. 

So let us try to be a family again, Let us use our trip to Taiwan to strengthen our bond. We are very blessed and very lucky. Let's acknowledge this gift from the Universe and act on it now. I love you all, and thank you for being my family! 

Be Happy, Be Healthy,

Elle Randall

"Let it be easy." 

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kris Paul
Date: Tue, Jun 10, 2014 at 12:12 PM
Subject: Grant Paul, 1960-2014
To: Kris Paul

Grant Paul, a photographer for over 30 years, orchestrated his last family portrait from his wheelchair on a trail outside of Midwest Hospice Care Center days before he passed, on June 10, 2014 at 7:05am.  He was 53.  Grant was surrounded by his wife, Thelma, his children, Kristina and her husband Scott, Tano and Taylor, brother Wade Paul, sister-in-law and husband Elsie and Paul Souder, his nephew Christian Souder, Monsignor David Quitigua, and countless others in spirit.

Grant was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in November of 2012 and fought valiantly for his life, undergoing grueling chemotherapy and radiation treatments in Illinois, for 18 months.  He is remembered for his unwavering zest for life and his gift of photography, passions only eclipsed by the unconditional love he had for his family.

Grant will be laid to rest on Wednesday, June 11, 2014.  Funeral services will be held at 8:00am at Strang Funeral Chapel located at 410 East Belvidere Road, Grayslake, IL 60030.  Burial and final prayer service will follow at Ascension Catholic Cemetery in Libertyville, IL.  Cards and flowers may be sent to the funeral home.

With love,

The Paul Family

Grant Paul, October 1, 1960 - June 10, 2014