When people asked, I always told them that She is the most genuine friend I have. She was one of my best friends from home, and after college, She moved to New York, and we continued our friendship into young adulthood. Most of my college friends mistook her naivety for ignorance, and her positivity for arrogance. But no one ever swayed my mind about her. She was always there for me, and I would always be there for her.
Five years ago, all that changed. She and I stopped speaking. It happened quite literally overnight, and though there were other unfortunate events happening between my inner circle and I, She and my disassociation took me completely by surprise. It was a sucker punch; I totally didn't see it coming. And what was worse, was that I had no idea why She stopped being my friend.
Life continued on, and I am happy to say that I've turned out alright. I've built a new life for myself, based on my values and my beliefs, and everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Sure, there have been a few detours and setbacks, but my unyielding faith in Fate always puts me back on track. I've come to learn a lot about myself and the kind of person I was, am, and want to be.
I've had some time to contemplate on being mindful. I didn't always practice mindfulness, but I make it a conscious effort to adhere to it now. I've always operated from a right vs. wrong perspective, and had more pride in my heart than love. Now I see that what's right isn't always what's good. I can argue my point until I rule the world, but sometimes, the good thing is to just let it go and start fresh. I admit that though I am working on coming from a more mindful and loving place, the old me will always want to give my two cents. I'm always going to have a weak spot for gossip and drama no matter how "lovingly" it's masked (and they will always try to reel me into their vicious circle), but in the long run it serves no one. I don't want to hold on to the past anymore, and I can only hope that She will let it go too. So I'm going to try for being a better friend. A more honest friend, a more forgiving friend, and a more loving friend.
