RESET

REST. RESET!

When I first wrote the title of this blog the word REST made it's way onto the page. Yup, I'm sleep deprived. And it's causing me to fall off course and get cranky.

Yesterday was an incredibly off day. I was the grumpiest of the grumps, all my meetings and appointments decided to rearrange itself, and I was feeling pretty hopeless and helpless in the land of mommy hood. So naturally, I started to think negative thoughts about my relationship. I don't know why that's the first place I go in my head, but it is.

Do you want to go on a date? wait... we have a baby

My Happiness Project for the year has been carrying on steadily as we near the end of January. My focus this month has been on getting this project set up, squeezing in more exercise, eating more vegetables, reading more, and staying on top of my habit tracker. So far, so good. I've fallen off a couple of times, but have not given up. I just hit the reset button and keep on moving.

I've decided to focus on my relationship with Darren for the month of February. I'd like to try and be a better partner to him. We've been together for about four years now, and it's the longest relationship I've been in. Now that the "in love" honeymoon period is long gone, and we have a baby and have decided to build our lives together, the work can begin.

I think to start things off, we need some quality time together. In the last year, we've fallen into a comfortable place. And in this comfortable place, most of that spark and intimacy that brought us together have diminished. So a few date nights or date days thrown into the mix might be nice. After having Ralph, I spoke to a lot of my coupled up friends about how they managed to maintain their relationships and marriages after the kids came, and all of them offered up the same piece of advice... date each other; designate a couple of hours once a week, get a babysitter, and just the two of you go out and do something together. Make it a ritual.

I've brought this up to Darren and he seems to agree. Now the problem is finding the time in his already full and busy schedule. And to find something to do that beats curling up in bed and getting a few extra hours of sleep. What are some fun, creative, and low maintenance date ideas that you've found to be successful? Yep, I'm asking you...

2017 Vision Boarding

Yesterday, we had our 4th annual Vision Boarding party at Harlem Yoga Studio. Eighteen of us came armed with magazines and ideas and spent the afternoon cutting, gluing, pasting, and of course snacking!

I've been vision boarding for four years, and each year I notice that my board becomes more and more refined and specific as the years go by. I pick a few things that I really want to focus my energy on, and they become the centerpiece of my board. I've had many people tell me that they keep putting up the things they want on their vision board, but year after year, they just don't get it. So why continue making one each year?

Well, the vision board is just a start. It's a place to gather all of your hopes, desires, and wishes onto something that you can see everyday. My first vision board was a smorgasbord of everything I've ever wanted in my life. From travel to work, romance to health, career to passions; you name it, it was on there. That year, not many things from my board came to life. Then the next year, my board became a little less cluttered. I put a bit more focus on the things I really wanted. And slowly, the journey towards manifestation began. The wheels started turning and the Universe started listening. Then the third year came, and my images and cut outs became even more specific. And surely, it all started to come true. One by one, my passions and dreams and goals started showing up. Some of the things from my first and second year started showing up too. But this is still just a start.

We must first create and visualize what we want. Then comes the work. Now our thoughts, words, intentions, and actions must sync up with what it is we are asking for. It's not so much that we have to control how our future must unfold, but we must be ready and open to receive them when the time is right. And that's sometimes the hardest part. To ask for something, then let it go.

So now, I've asked for it. My 2017 vision board is up on my wall alongside all the boards from before. And now, I let go. I'm ready and open to receive whatever the Universe has in store for me this year. Happy 2017 everyone!

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT 2017

So I'm four days late into this new project of mine, and usually I would've just given up on it because I didn't start exactly at the time I wanted to start, so it wasn't "perfect." But now, who cares, starting is starting. So here's to STARTING.

Towards the end of 2016, as I was gearing up to close out the year and begin a new one, I started re-reading 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin. It has always been a book that resonated with me, but I never actually committed to finishing a happiness project of my own. So I thought why not do it in 2017?

2016 brought me some pretty incredible events and milestones! At the top of that list is my son Ralph. I spent this past year being pregnant and setting myself up to be a new mommy, and I'm so happy I gave myself the space and time to do so, because being a mom is not an easy task. In addition to having my son, my work as a yoga teacher was also flourishing, as were my personal relationships with people I love. But despite all of these blessings, I still sometimes had the tendency to brood and complain. And most of all, I noticed that my perfectionism was holding me back, It stopped me from taking chances and pushing myself. So I decided I wanted to do something about it. And here we are.

This year, I plan on dedicating each month to a bunch of new resolutions and work on building up my base level of happiness month by month, just as Rubin did. I will not let myself give up, even when  ESPECIALLY when it's not perfect. I'm not unhappy, and this project isn't just about being happier. This project is about being present in my happiness, savoring each moment of happiness, and being mindful as I steep in this happiness. I want to soak myself in the bliss as it is happening, rather than scroll through the pictures later. I want to have more faith, go to the edge more, be nicer, be kinder, take chances, fall down, and put myself out there. And I want to be present in my life, fully and actively engaged in this incredible journey.

Happy 2017 everyone! Thank You in advance for this amazing year!

Piloshe's Arrival

Ever since July, Darren has been asking Piloshe to come out and play. But that would've been too soon, and I knew he needed to stay in and cook a little longer, so I always just told him to hang tight and come out when he was ready. So there we were, two soon to be parents on opposite ends of the birth date guessing game. I figured if he at least stayed in there until after the baby shower, we should be good.

Piloshe's due date was Sept. 13 2016, and I was hoping he'd come as close to his due date as possible. Part of the reason was because I really wanted to teach until the last minute possible, and the other part of the reason was because I hadn't finished preparing for his arrival. I was a bit of a procrastinator on that front. Thank goodness Darren had already set up most of what we needed.

Cut to Thursday Sept. 1, 2016. I woke up extra early that morning, around 4am, because I just couldn't sleep comfortably anymore. I spent some quiet time by myself before heading out to teach. I taught from 8am-12pm, then chatted a bit with a fellow teacher before heading out in the pouring rain to meet up with a friend for lunch. I headed home around 4pm, ready for a long nap. I was exhausted, and hoping that sleep would come easily and more importantly, comfortably.

As I was climbing into bed for my nap, I made a joke to Darren saying that Piloshe was getting too heavy and maybe it was time for him to make his way out. To which Darren said "Why don't you tell him that?" So I did. I said to my belly (jokingly) "Hey in there, you can come out now. It's getting a little too heavy and crowded." Then I climbed into bed and started to drift off into my much needed nap, while 'The Secret Life of Pets' played softly in the background. Twenty minutes later, I felt a sharp kick in my lower belly, I sat up in a moment of sleepy confusion (thinking it was just another bout of Braxton-Hicks). Then my water broke. It was 6:15pm.

Our months of practice and preparation for this moment immediately kicked in. Darren grabbed the hospital suitcase and some last minute necessities while I called our OB. We were told to come into the hospital, so we hopped into a cab and made our way down to Mt. Sinai. The contractions hadn't fully kicked in yet, so I was still just a bubble of smiles and excitement. We were going to meet our little one soon!

We get to the hospital, they check me, and I'm at one centimeter.... we are in for a long night. Laboring in the hospital was not part of my plan, but we were gonna have to go with it. Alex, Lizzie, and my mom met up with us at the hospital after work. Then Alex went home and Lizzie, Darren, and my mom buckled down for the wait. We were put in a decent sized delivery room, but it didn't have enough chairs, so they took turns sitting and standing. They hooked me up to an IV, but still let me walk around to get the labor going. By now, my contractions were starting to pick up. At around 12am, the doctors check me again, and I'm only at 3 centimeters. Wow, it's really going to be a long night, and everyone was exhausted. And by this time, my contractions were pretty close together and getting really edgy and painful. I tried some yoga poses, chanting the Ho'oponopono and Maha Mantra, deep breathing, even twerking (don't ask), but it was getting harder and harder to stay focused, because I was so sleepy and tired.

At around 2am, the doctors come in to talk to me about pain management and speeding up the process a little. I was really looking forward to getting some sleep, so I opted for the help. The pitocin revved up the contractions and caused Piloshe to descend (which I was told was a good sign), so they just had to come in every now and then to readjust his monitor, and it felt a bit like a roller coaster ride. But once the epidural kicked in, I started to drift off. The doctors told me to try to get some sleep and that they would come back at 6am to check me again. I told my mom and Lizzie to go home and get some rest, so that we would all be a bit refreshed for the big moment. Darren would call them at 6am to let them know what my status was. Everyone agreed to the plan, and I was finally able to get some sleep.

Fast forward to around 5am, the pitocin induced contractions were getting closer and closer together, and I started to feel stronger and stronger peaks as Piloshe continued to make his way downward. At around 5:50am, the doctors came back in to examine me, and that was when I started to feel a shift in the contractions. There was still no pain, but the pressure was now causing the urge to push. And this urge was rather involuntary. I asked the doctor what are the odds that the baby would be pushing himself out without me feeling it, and she said it's rather unlikely, and that it could just be the result of really strong contractions. So during the next peak, I tried to refrain from pushing, and that when I felt that there was definitely something else pushing down there, and it wasn't me. I mentioned this to the doctors, and they said "Okay, well let's take a look at how far along you are." It was 6am.

They lifted my blanket, and one doctor exclaimed "OH! The baby is coming!!" Darren jumped up and rushed to my side and gasped "Wow, the baby's head is halfway out." The doctors had no time to set up properly, all they could do were place my knees in a butterfly position, lower the bed, holler for a nurse, and turn on the lights. Darren quickly called my mom and lizzie to tell them to get down to the hospital. This baby was coming and he was coming fast! The doctors told me to give a couple of good pushes and the next thing I know, there's a tiny little thing covered in hair and goo, writhing and crying on top of my chest. Piloshe was here. It was 6:04am.

Four minutes. That's all it took. Four minutes, and my little angel made his way into the world. He basically climbed his was out. What a miracle! Everyone was shocked at how fast and smooth everything went. It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to process my emotions (but Daddy Darren did, which was good!). Ralph Kuni Randall Nowbath aka Piloshe was born on September 2, 2016 at 6:04am. He weighed 6 pounds and 14 ounces and measured 19 inches. And he was perfect. Correction: He still is perfect.

*This was my miracle birth story, and I have to take a moment to acknowledge how lucky I got. I know most birth stories aren't this ideal and smooth sailing, so I am beyond grateful to God, the Divine, the Universe for blessing me with such an incredible experience. Later when the doctor asked me what I thought about my birth experience, I said I only wished the pushing part lasted a bit longer, and that my mom and Lizzie made it in time to witness it. But truthfully, it was was the best experience! I can't wait to do it all again! =)

Happy New Year to me

It's January 3rd, 2016. A brand new year. And my rituals have begun to change.

I've decided this year is a year of commitment. I'm committing to being the person I know I am; the person I know I can be. There is what I do and what I don't do, everything else is just useless thinking. If I make a choice, I stick to it. If I start a project, I finish it. If I say yes, I see it through.

I woke up this morning itching to get on my meditation pillow. I was half asleep, it was still dark outside, and all I could think of was getting to my seat. And I did. It wasn't just a passing thought shut down by my ego. I got up, grabbed my pillow, and took it to the living room. I sat for a whole twelve minutes, without opening my eyes. I can't say that my mind was absolutely still, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.

Then I decided I wanted to read. But instead I climbed back into bed and laid awake for five minutes. Then I got up, grabbed my morning journal and book, made a cup of lemon tea, and sat down at the dining table to write and read.

Then I rolled out my yoga mat and practiced for fifteen minutes. A short and sweet flow, where I let my body take me where it wanted to go.

And now, I'm sitting here writing about it. So far, the last two hours have been a huge personal success. Thanks Universe!

I wrote my last post in September "A midnight free for all" and in it, I said "Maybe I'll go to Puerto Rico..."

Well, I'm going to Puerto Rico. March 31 to April 4. To lead a Yoga retreat.

Miracle.